


If You're Reading This

by GettingByWithALittleHelp96



Series: If You're Reading This [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-27 00:58:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15013229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GettingByWithALittleHelp96/pseuds/GettingByWithALittleHelp96
Summary: With your husband being away, you both rely on the letters you send each other to help get you through, until he can return home.Warnings: Lots of Fluff and an angsty ending! Character death is mentioned but there is no graphic description of the event.This is inspired by the song If You're Reading This by Tim McGraw





	1. Made With Love Before Deployment

You were only eighteen when you had met Bucky, falling in love the moment you had first saw him there at the Stark Expo. Everyone else was caught up in the brilliance that was Howard Stark, but you, you couldn’t keep your eyes off the handsome man in the army uniform. Before you knew it, you were wrapped in his arms, slowly swaying back and forth, the only couple on the dance floor, the music long over. It was in that moment that you knew, he was your person, the one person that was made just for you.

 

 

As you walked up the the mailbox and placed your envelope in side, your palms sweating and heart about to beat out of your chest, the words of your friends and family echoing in your head. 

“Falling for a soldier will only end in heartache,” your mom warned.

“When you’re with a soldier, you live in constant fear,” your older sister warned. “Every phone call, letter, or knock at your door, you think that it’s someone coming to tell you that your man won't ever be coming home.”

This was the first time, you ever let what they said get to you and that was because for the first time in your relationship, you didn’t know if you would be strong enough to get through what was to come without him.

Bucky’s POV

“Barnes! No surprise you got a letter from your little lady.”

He looked up just in time, for the white envelope to hit his cot.

Thursdays were his favorite day of the week, because when the mail came it never failed to contain a letter from y/n. Opening the envelope, two items fell out. Picking up the item on top, a folded piece of paper he began to read what it said.

My love,  
If you are reading this, you are one day closer to coming back to me. Until that day comes, remember that there is a woman back home you loves you and that even though you are not physically here there is a part of you that always remains with me.

P.S- If you are reading this you already know that I enclosed another special item in this letter and I hope it will help you get through the next few months, knowing you have something to look forward too. I know it is helping me.

He couldn’t help but smile, as he thought about her, sitting at their kitchen table writing this letter and after he had folder the piece of paper back up and put it under his mattress with all her other letters, he picked up the other item and flipped it over to see the sonogram of their unborn child with the phrase “Made with Love Before Deployment” written above it. 

His heart skipped a beat and tears started to fill the corners of his blue eyes. Not only was the love of his life waiting for him back home, she was expecting their child and just as y/n had said, it was going to be the reason he would get through the next couple months


	2. Waiting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While you are at the doctors office waiting to find out the sex of your baby you pull out one of Bucky's letters.

Today was the day that you found out the sex of your baby, and as you waited for the doctor to come in and start your ultrasound you pulled out Bucky’s latest letter.

Y/n,  
If you are reading this, it means you haven’t run away with that hot neighbor of ours and I am truly grateful for that. 

 

You giggled as you read the first line of his letter. Not too long after the two of you had moved into your house,you both became aware of the unusually attractive man next door, Jensen. Even Bucky couldn’t deny how handsome he was and told you that if you ever decided to leave him for Jensen, you would have his blessing.

 

I am counting the days until I can come home and be with you and our little one. Thank you so much for being my person and for being the mother of my child. I can’t wait for the day that I can come home and thank you in person for all you have given me. I love you sweetheart.

You felt a tear fall down onto your cheek and as you wiped it away, you felt the baby kick with all of its might. You couldn’t help but laugh, thinking that maybe the baby knew you needed a distraction in that moment. 

“You better save some of those strong kicks for your daddy to feel, little one,” you said, placing a hand on your stomach. “You and I can’t be the only ones having all this fun.”

That evening when you got back home, you headed straight for the empty guest room at the end of the hallway. This was the only room in your house that you couldn’t decide what to do with, simply because you could never get past agreeing on a color of paint, and when Bucky had been deployed you promised that you wouldn’t touch this room until he got back, but now that you knew what you were having, you realized what you had really been waiting to use this room for.


	3. Paint swatches and Baby Names

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You let Bucky know that you decided to paint the guest room after all.

Bucky’s POV

He would be lying if he said it wasn’t rough being away, but some days were harder than others and this was one of those days. Things were slow, uneventful, and because of that some of his squad got to go home, but Bucky being the accomplished marksman that he was, had to stay a little extra longer. To top it all off, it was their two year anniversary. 

When he got back to the camp that night, he found one of y/n’s letters on his bed and though he wanted to hear from her, he knew it would only make his heartache more. This time, when he opened the envelope he found a homemade anniversary card that read “If you’re reading this, you are the man who has put up with me for two years now.”

A big smile spread across his face, making the corner of his eyes wrinkle. Her sense of humor was one of the things he loved the most about her, and he was so glad that she always found a way to work that into her letters, so he would never forget how she was always able to make him laugh.

As he flipped the card open, a photo fell out onto his lap, and when he picked it up to examine it, he saw Alysha holding up a pink paint sample card with “It’s A Girl” written on it and on the back she had written, “I know I agreed to not touch the guest room till you got back, but somehow I don’t think you will object to painting it pink for our baby girl.”

Bucky pinned the picture up on the wall beside his bed, with all the other ultrasounds and pictures of y/n he had, and got right to work on writing her back. He may be missing out on a lot, but he wasn’t about to miss out on helping to pick the name for his daughter.

 

Readers POV

A month later you were working away getting your daughter’s room ready and waiting for your phone to ring. You never got the chance to actually talk to Bucky and to hear his voice, so the idea that he was going to call you, was making it hard to concentrate on much. You had just gotten one dresser drawer full of diapers, when you heard the Sherry ringtone going off on your phone. Sherry was Bucky’s favorite song, he would always walk around the house singing it, and after he had left you put it as your ringtone, so it would feel like he was still home.

“Well hello Mr. Barnes,” you said, answering the phone. 

“Well hello to you too Mrs. Barnes. How are you and our little girl doing today?”

“I am starting to get swollen and achy, and all I feel like doing is sleeping, but your daughter decides that bedtime is playtime and she uses mommie’s bladder as a punching bag.”

He giggled in response. “Speaking of our daughter, are we any closer to agreeing on a name?”

“We are not naming her Dorothy!” you yelled. 

“Well, we would probably just end up calling her Dot, and that’s a cute name for a little girl.”

“That is the name of a girl you and Steve had met at Coney Island one summer, that you had the hots for! I refuse to name our daughter after one of her father’s one night stands.”

This made him laugh. “I don’t want to name her Dot, I just like how flustered you get over it.”

You could just see him, on the other end of the phone, with that big smile and those wrinkles around the corners of his eyes that you loved so much, proud of himself for getting you all riled up.

“I was actually thinking that since we can’t come to agreement maybe we should just wait till she is born,” he continued. “Maybe it will be easier for us to come up with a name once we have seen her and we’re in the moment.”

You thought about if for a minute. It wasn’t a bad idea, but the thing that you liked most was thinking about how he would actually be with you. The two of you would be in the same room looking at your newborn baby and that made it the best idea.


	4. Nothing Could Prepare You For This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While preparing for the arrival of your daughter, you get news that will change everything.

With every passing day you would get more and more on edge. Your due date was only a month and half away now, and to top it all off you hadn’t received your weekly letter from Bucky yet. Ever since he had left you would write him on the same day every week and he would do the same. He never once had missed his day before and the fact that his letter was now a week late, had you worried. 

Like any other time you found yourself worrying about Bucky, you went to work on finishing up the nursery. Even with how nervous you were about the arrival of your daughter, you had to admit seeing all of her pink clothes hanging in the closet and her pink and white polka dot blanket hanging over the railing of the crib, it all somehow put you at ease.

Just as you had finished attaching the last little elephant to the mobile above her crib, there was a knock at your door. You thought maybe it was just the mailman or a delivery guy, with another baby gift, but as you opened the front door and saw who was actually standing there, you knew your life was never going to be the same.

“Y/n, can I come in?” Steve asked.

You shook your head. “No, because the fact that you are standing here on my front porch, in your uniform, means something bad happened, and if I just closed this door right now, I could forget this ever happened.”

Steve dropped his head and with tears flooding your cheeks, you began to lower yourself to the ground, only to have Steve’s arms catch you and pull you tightly into his embrace.

“I know y/n,” he whispered, rubbing a path up and down your back. “I know.”

You stayed wrapped in his arms for what seemed like forever. You just couldn’t bring yourself to move, because all you wanted was just to disappear.

“Here,” Steve said pulling back and reaching into the pocket of his jacket. “I brought you some of his stuff.”

As he placed the contents into your shaking hands, you noticed all the pictures you had sent him every month of your pregnancy, every ultrasound, and letter, and on the very top of the pile was the letter you had been waiting for. The last letter you would ever get from him.

Steve asked if you wanted him to stay, but you declined his invitation and after he had left you sat down at that little desk were you always wrote his letters and began to read his final letter.

To the love of my life-  
If you are reading this, it means I won’t be coming home. I’m hanging up my gun, and laying down my boots, and I’m up here with God and we’re both watching over you.   
If you are reading this I won’t be home for the birth of our little girl. I hope she looks like you and fights like me and I hope she has your sense of humor and stands up and defends those who need it.  
If you are reading this, you can finally run away with that neighbor of ours. I know, how can I joke at a time like this, right? Well, even though this is going to be hard, someday you are going to move on and find someone else and I want you to know that’s okay because even when that day comes, you will still be the love of my life and I know you will still hold me in your heart like you did while I was away.  
So, lay me down in that field on the edge of town, because even though you are sad, I want you to to find some peace in the fact that we no longer have to worry. Our story has found it’s ending and now you and our little girl can find a new beginning.  
Love,  
Bucky

A little over a month later, on a rainy summer afternoon, you welcomed a baby girl, whom you named Elizabeth “Betty” Barnes. It was the closest girls name to Bucky’s that you could think of and just like he had said the moment you first held her in your arms, the name had came to you. The time leading up to her arrival, was the hardest you had ever know, but as you looked down at the beautiful baby in your arms, who as Bucky had wished, looked like you but with his big blue eyes, you felt for the first time that things were actually going to be okay.


End file.
